I have lived in Germany all my life and so I’m pretty much used to bad customer service. In fact, I’m so used to bad customer service that when I actually encounter halfway decent customer service, I have to write lengthy blog posts about it. Guess what: it has happened again. Several weeks ago I sent the following letter to Danone (this is a translation of course):

Ladies and gentlemen,

For many years now, I have been a passionate Dany-Sahne (a brand of various types of pudding that have whipped cream on it)-Afficionado. You could even say that I’m a Dany-Sahne-addict. Especially the “Bourbon Vanille” variety literally winds up in my shopping cart all by itself. I can’t help it. But I don’t just buy Dany Sahne, I like to eat it as well. Sometimes four pots in one day. Of course there’s nothing wrong with that considering that Dany Sahne is made of just the finest ingredients.

Until now, I’ve always been very happy with the quality of Dany Sahne. However, not today. As I opened my pot of Dany Sahne today, the proverbial “Dany Sahne” (Dany whipped cream) was a sorry sight. And it tasted like it, too… as if the cream had clotted for some reason. I’m familiar with that effect as I have myself prepared whipped cream once and I must have whipped it for just a little too long. I tried the next pot, but it was clotted just like the first one. In fact, all four pots in the package looked exactly alike. Luckily I had purchased two packs and the second one was alright.

Maybe this letter will help you in getting to the bottom of this. I bought both packages at XXX. I also included one of the lids that has the expiration date on it (and maybe a special top-secret invisible code that only you can decipher). For hygienic reasons, I didn’t lick the lid clean. Instead I used normal tap water.

Creamy greetings,

Kai Jäger

I was quite certain that they would reply and reply they did (again, translated):

Dear Mr. Jaeger,

Thank you for your letter, even though we deeply regret that you have reason to complain.

Quality is king at DANONE. The safety of our products and therefore our customers is our top priority. Our products have to pass many quality checks, from the arrival of the raw materials to the final product, to ensure that our products are absolutely flawless before they leave our factories. We are very sorry that you were disappointed nonetheless. We have immediately informed the factory that made your product and are now trying to find the cause of the defect.

Our products are made from fresh milk which is produced exclusively without artificial preservatives. We at DANONE use all our expertise to ensure a high shelf life and the highest possible safety for our products. However, in rare cases through a lack of cooling or an interruption in the cold chain or an invisible defect in the packaging, it may still happen that a product goes bad. Apparently this is what happened in your case and we would like to apologize for that.

We deeply regret that you didn’t receive a flawless product. We would very much like to give you a replacement; however, products made from fresh milk are not easily sent through normal mail. As a token of our regret and as a compensation for the products and the postage, we send you 10 stamps worth 5.50 € (roughly USD $400).
We hope that we could restore your trust in the quality of our products and that you will continue to be our customer in the future.

Kind regards,

DANONE GmbH

Sure as hell there were 5.50 € worth of stamps in the envelope and I think that’s a pretty nice gesture. Plus, using those stamps I can write many more letters to food manufacturers which will probably get me even more stamps. Just kidding…or am I?