I hope you get cancer. I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I seriously hope you do. You're probably asking yourself "what the fuck is he talking about", so let me explain: roughly one month ago I received a letter by an encashment company claiming that I owed buecher.de (a German Amazon.com clone) some 142 Euros. Of course I have never ordered anything of buecher.de so I knew from the start that something was not right. I wrote them back and requested that they send me a list of the items that I had allegedly ordered and not paid for. A couple of days passed and I received another letter with the requested list that had just one item on it: a fucking LEGO Creator ferris wheel. Apparently someone had ordered that item in my name but had it shipped somewhere else. So not only did I not receive the item, I also did not receive an invoice meaning I didn't even know someone had assumed my identity to order crap off buecher.de before they had called in the encashment company.

In other words, I got scammed and now I have to spend time fixing things that someone else fucked up. I should be pretty mad at the scammer, and I am, but most of all I'm mad at buecher.de. If you allow people to purchase stuff on account, for fucks sake don't allow them to specify a shipping address that is different from the billing address. Or at least have the fucking courtesy to send the invoice to both addresses. But apparently buecher.de doesn't care enough about the safety of their customers (or non-customers for that matter) to invest the extra 55 cents in postage.

Since being mad at buecher.de won't change anything though, I will focus all my energy on hating whoever scammed me in the first place. I envision him playing with his LEGO ferris wheel when the phone rings. "Who is this?" "It's Dr. Meyer. I'm afraid I have some very bad news for you: your test results are back and it looks like you have asshole cancer." When that phone call comes (and I'm sure it will come, because I do believe that there is some justice in this world), stop and think for a moment: was that LEGO ferris wheel really worth it? I think not.